Kat, a Black woman with an afro pompadour and teal glasses smiles in front of a camellia tree, wearing a bright yellow and pink summer blouse

1:1 coaching & strategy

I coach and mentor people through the process of cultivating friendship and community, especially in environments that weren’t designed for it. It’s not always easy, but it IS doable.

Learn more about my offerings below. If it feels like a fit, use the form below to request a coaching-n-consultation session. During your session, we’ll unpack the challenges you’re facing, then come up with a tangible action plan for you to move forward with.

Professional experience and training
My education and training far exceed this short list, but these are the big highlights:
✔️ Facilitating community groups since 2001
✔️ Certified as a community-building facilitator in 2005 (at PYE Global, f.k.a. The Power of Hope)
✔️ Created and ran numerous community groups from 2001 - 2026
✔️ Trained teachers and professors on ways to increase community-building in the classroom
✔️ Researching and studying the science of adult friendship since 2015

✔️ Author of the bestselling book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships, published in January 2020
✔️ Certified as a coach in 2020 (Life Purpose Institute, which is accredited by ICF, the International Coaching Federation)
✔️ Coaching individuals and groups ever since

✔️ 20+ years of life experience creating and running community groups, living in community, and creating new friend networks after moving to multiple new locations
✔️ My trainings, talks, workshops, and live events have reached over 16,497 people, and counting

Getting closer

Choose this session if you want to get closer to existing friends and acquaintances, or if you want to feel a greater sense of belonging in your existing neighborhood. Let’s uncover the platonic treasures that surround you.

What do you need support with?

friends in a field of grass making heart hand shapes

Less online, more IRL

Choose this session if you want to disengage from being so extremely online all the time. You crave more time for yourself and the people in your life, but feel like you can never unplug because there are so many demands for your attention online.

meetup club members meeting on a sunny day

Clubs & Community

Choose this session if you want to start a community group or club, but you’re not sure where to get started. Or maybe you have a draft of a club idea but you’ve gotten stuck. Let’s get you ready to launch.

New town, new friends

Choose this session if you’re new in town or soon will be. We’ll strategize a place to cultivate connection before the loneliness sets in, and we’ll turn your new zip code into a place that truly feels like home.

Testimonials

Invaluable

“When I found myself stuck thinking about how to have a “not-soul-crushing-networking-event,” I knew just who would be able to help me. Kat Vellos, of course!
We were off to a great start when she sent me thoughtful questions prior to our call that helped me to focus and make the most of our time.
During the call, she provided me with not only invaluable ideas and perspective from her experience but also helped me see the strengths in my own ideas.
I was touched by her genuine enthusiasm, caring for my idea as if it were her own. She helped it go from an amorphous blob to a possible, doable shape.
I really appreciate the thoughtfulness and care Kat brings to all her work, and working with her as a coach was no different. If you want more connection in your life, Kat will help you find your way there with warmth and skillfulness.”
— Cassie, coaching client, 2023
Multi-faceted and tailored

“I had the privilege of experiencing a 1:1 coaching session with Kat. Within the first few moments of our conversation, it was evident she possessed a unique ability to listen deeply.
Kat drew upon her extensive training and personal experiences to offer me a multifaceted perspective tailored to my specific needs and goals.
She was empathetic to the challenges I faced and helped me focus on strategies that allowed me to see my path forward with more clarity and confidence. I can't thank her enough for the dedication and genuine care she demonstrated throughout our session.
As a coach and business professional, I was moved to share that if you're looking for a coach who truly understands relationships, both with others as well as with yourself, and who offers meaningful support, I highly recommend Kat Vellos.”
— Kyra F, coaching client, 2024
Worth the investment

“I recently relocated to a new city and state and booked a session with Kat to help me create a game plan for connecting with others and building community.
I really appreciated her approach from the pre-session homework/prompts, the discussion during the session, and the follow-up with notes and recommendations on how to move forward.
Because Kat takes the time to get to know you, it's a very tailored session that's specific to you and your needs. For a 90+ minute session it was worth the investment in myself and I walked away feeling empowered and more confident as I seek to settle into a new home.
She has a number of different services you can participate in so I'd recommend seeing which of her offers you feel may best meet your needs. If you want to get to know her a bit before making a commitment, then I'd definitely recommend subscribing to her newsletter or listening to any of her podcast interviews. All in all, I'd definitely recommend her!”
— Danica S, coaching client, 2023
Empowering and rejuvenating

"I have not invested in personal coaching sessions before, but I was really struggling to make adult friends post-COVID, despite trying all the things (even friend speed-dating!)
I have been a subscriber to Kat's newsletter and love her book, so I figured I would try a coaching session.
My first impression was that Kat is as warm, authentic, and encouraging over Zoom as she is on the page. We talked through a few of my biggest struggles, and drawing upon her decade of friendship research, she challenged me to think about some of my pain points from a new perspective.
She has some really novel ideas that I am excited to put into practice. She followed up with a detailed list of notes, including some personalized ideas for meeting friends in my area, and a link to our recorded session.
I would encourage anyone who is on the fence to sign up for a session with Kat. Finding friends can be a lonely experience when you might question your worthiness and your ability. After this session, I felt very empowered and rejuvenated."
— Cynthia, coaching client, 2025
The perfect guide

“During a major life transition-including relocating to a new city-I found the idea of building meaningful community both daunting and overwhelming.
Discovering Kat and her work changed everything!
Through her 1:1 coaching and Platonic Action Lab courses, I gained the clarity, structure, and confidence I needed to take intentional action aligned with my values.
If you’re looking for guidance in cultivating authentic connections with courage and purpose, Kat is the perfect guide.”
— Janice, coaching client and PAL alum, 2025
Feedback from multiple clients:

“Kat is very patient and really made me feel understood when I took her coaching sessions [in 2020]. I didn't feel rushed to talk or judged and I’ve retained takeaways up to this point. She also shares great tips on the newsletters, and I always am grateful with her openness, her motivation, her willingness to engage. Thank you Kat!” — Andrea, coaching client, 2023
“Kat’s no-nonsense, confidence boosting instructions have given me, well… many more friends. I’ve shucked off that dried up layer within that thought maybe I was unlikable for some reason.
When I had a trouble setting a boundary she took me aside and told me easily what my rights were, exactly what to say, and knew of an excellent book or two to guide me in those situations.
So much better than a stuffy therapist wanting to sift thru my childhood for six months — just get straight to making friendships and not feeling lonely anymore. Kat is a gift!”
— Robin D, coaching client, 2024
Feedback from multiple clients:

“Kat's superpower is coming up with creative ideas, she is a brilliant, creative thinker, and she generates multiple ideas and solutions which are brilliant and actionable. She is also able to put herself in your shoes, which allows her to understand where you might be stuck and helps you plot a way forward. She also has great energy and is a pleasure to work with.” — David Fallon, coaching client, 2023
“It was really great to dive deep in a short time, take a jumble of ideas and transform them into an actionable plan that doesn't feel overwhelming. I struggle with my own ideas and how to communicate them in a simple and relatable way, and Kat’s way of listening, understanding, and reflecting them back to me allowed me to see how to move forward. Thank you for your help.” — S.C. coaching client, 2019
“I greatly appreciate the support, encouragement, and clarity you gave me. It was a major shift; one that I’m so happy to have made.” — Ray, coaching client, 2020
“I learned that vulnerability requires work and sometimes won't be perfect. It can be uncomfortable and require some deep digging but the results could be so beneficial. Compared to where I was when we started, I feel like I have more confidence to build meaningful connections.” — O.D., coaching client, 2020

Request a session

FAQs

How long is the session and how much does it cost?

My rates are comparable to typical rates for therapy.

In the Bay Area, talk therapy costs $150-300 per 50-minute session. I charge $299 for live sessions up to 2 hours long, and I’m available outside of our live session as well; clients typically receive about 6 hours in total from me per booking, counting the time I put towards prepping with you before the session, and the follow-ups I provide after the session as you implement your connection plan. That’s all included.

Comparatively: If you spent six months in therapy sessions telling your therapist how you wish you had better friendships and more community, it would cost you $1200-$2400. By working with me, you’ll actually solve the problem. This saves you money in the long run and gives you friend-making tools and community-building skills you can use forever.

What days and times are sessions available?

Sessions can be booked between 9am-7pm Pacific time on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, or between 10am-12pm on Saturdays.

We’ll meet over Zoom, and you'll have access to the recording any time you want to revisit it. Clients have told me that revisiting their recording during their implementation phase really helped them remember what they learned and stay motivated to work on their connection plan.

I’m feeling kinda awkward about this—is it weird to go to a connection coach for help with friendship and community?

If you’ve never done it before, it might seem unusual to hire someone to help you solve your challenges with friendship and community, but it’s no different than going to a specialist to help you solve any other problem whether that problem is with your fitness, your car, your relationship, your teeth, or your career. People hire coaches and advisors for all kinds of things… there’s sleep coaching for babies, midlife dating coaches, and even pet psychics! Getting support to help you cultivate friendship and community is nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, it’s one of the best things you can do for your emotional, mental, and physical health.

And there is a cost to not getting help. Think about it: What is it costing your emotional, mental, and physical health to not have this problem solved? How much is it worth to you to finally have the platonic connection that you’re craving and wishing for?

Why is this a standalone session instead of ongoing weekly sessions?

It’s not my goal to create dependencies; I want to help you develop your own skills, agency, and trust in yourself. And unlike a lot of other practitioners who want to get you hooked on endless sessions until the end of time, my goal is to help you make such fantastic headway in this session that you probably won’t need another session for a while.

Our session is focused on creating a connection plan for you to implement over your desired timeline, whether that’s over the next couple months, the next couple seasons, or over the upcoming year.

Implementing a plan and seeing improvement takes time. You can’t snap your fingers and create best friends overnight. It takes dedication and persistence.

I’m available via email during your implementation phase, but if at any time during that process, you discover that you want extra support, you can book additional sessions to troubleshoot any new challenges, to help you get unblocked, or to deal with anything new that crops up.

If you want to book a bundle of sessions for weekly check-ins (say, for accountability reasons), let me know and we can work it out at a bundle rate.

I need help right away, and cost is an issue. What should I do?

If 1-on-1 coaching isn’t in your budget right now, you can still get a ton of support from me:

Free podcasts: Because I want to help people for free from anywhere in the world, I've provided over 48 hours of free guidance in one convenient Spotify playlist that has all my podcast episodes. That’s more than 60 episodes full of free advice and guidance. Check the show notes for details about each episode's topic. You can get guidance from me straight to your earbuds in less than ten seconds from now.

Free blog posts: I’ve also written over 75 blog posts that are available for free 24/7 at weshouldgettogether.com.

Free newsletter: I publish two newsletters every week. The Tuesday one (We Should Get Together) focuses on cultivating friendships, and the Thursday one (Better Places Studio) explores how the design of our places affects how we can cultivate community.

How to get my book for free: You can grab a copy of my book, We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships for free at your local library. I recommend doing all of the recommended activities included in it. Many readers have told me that this alone helped them dramatically improve their friend life.

If your company offers wellness benefits or reimbursement for personal development expenses, I encourage you to ask if they would reimburse you for your coaching sessions. The relationship-building skills that you’d gain via our coaching sessions can also be applied in the workplace and in team settings. Let your manager know that research shows that strong workplace friendships are correlated with increased productivity at work, and higher employee engagement.

As you can see, even if you can’t book 1-on-1 coaching with me, there’s lots of ways to get my guidance. I give away a huge quantity of free resources so that people can benefit from my support, regardless of their employment situation or income level, because I believe that all people deserve to have the friendships they wish for and deserve.